Painful Longing

By Brooke Author

 It's Ok to want what we cannot have

We do not always get what we want

Nor do we deserve everything we want

Some have what they don't deserve

I want to earn love, deserve love

I don't want to love anyone else

but him

He fills my mind, a painful day dream

Scenes of moments past

Or still images from my mind

The way he wears pants that are a size too big

His blue eyes

My love and pain fill me

Reminders of my mistakes in my every waking momemt

Because he is not here, because he can never be here again

It overwhelms me

My longing drives me

I am starting to understand why I did what I did

He found me at a horrible time in my life

Dealing with childhood sexual abuse

I'm healing, I think


It's tragic, a tragedy. He is the victim, if there is one.

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